some random thoughts while i ostensibly wait for my laptop to cool down:

i think my nervousness about my ability and commitment to become an excellent graduate student has sort of bubbled over, to the point that i am in denial about how terrified i am about next week.

along those lines, i am sometimes caught off guard by how little makes it through the filter from subconscious to conscious.

as a precursor to an all-questions journal i hope to write some day: "when my time comes, what will i want to be able to say about how i spent my life?"

i bought a jack london novel. after on the road and now this, if you don't hear from me for a while, i boarded a train to anywhere without telling anybody.

i've been on this planet a quarter century, and part of me feels like i've always followed the most mundane path in front of me.

i stumbled upon this poem i wrote while dating heather. i never showed it to anybody, partly because i knew she would tease me mercilessly. but since we aren't talking right now, i'm in the clear. ha!

there is a spark that dances
across eyes that shine
the sign of the fated few
who own this moment in time

in dreams i've loved and never lost
a life without disease
in dreams i've seen a perfect world
free from you and me

if you think that poem is sad, i did a really bad job.

i moved to the city to become less lonely. i love it here, but damn, that was foolish. i guess i should have re-read a little William Blake first.

my slides are responsive again, and i should be making them, but i'll pretend they aren't so we have a little more time together.

if you couldn't tell from above, i really, really miss reading. i stare at words all day, but they aren't saying anything to me. when i wandered into that bookstore right outside vesuvio, the void that not reading has left was unmistakeable.

how did i not notice how beautiful stanford can be in the fall last year? warning! cliche ahead: the grass is always greener, i guess.

i started this journal more than seven years ago now. sometimes, i feel a little wiser. sometimes, i feel a little duller. a lot of the time, i feel mostly the same.

despite my last journal, i still think i'm a romantic. take that, life.